In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
