what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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