I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
