If i come over, it means nothing
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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