I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
