I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
