also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
