my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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