i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Please don't give away my fajitas
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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