I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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