Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
