im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
