How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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