The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
