I'm going to rape someone's good day.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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