you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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