I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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