Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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