All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize