Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
