You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize