Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
im on a boat
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