so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
how do flat chested girls get laid?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
