i was rollin on her like bob the builder
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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