maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
smell my finger.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
