Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
