i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
