I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
