You're so nebulous sometimes
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
