i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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