Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
