i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
