i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
