Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize