Don't make out with my wife yet
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize