so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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