I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
