I didn't shave. On purpose
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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