Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
