If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
we made out on top of his cat.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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