so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
