Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
