I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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