He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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