Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
