It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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