I'm gonna have a badass scar
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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