Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
