you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
my poor anus
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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