I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
