I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
