My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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