Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
