3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
