My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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