I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize