i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
