my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Randomize
