you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
