Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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