Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The chlamydia really affected his face.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
