That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
