So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
