Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
