so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
