Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize