i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Randomize
