I CAN MOONWALK!
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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