check it out our google latitudes are spooning
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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