i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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