Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
ttyl tear gas
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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