So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
