i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
