Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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