Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
