So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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