All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Randomize
