i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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