piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
My hand turned me down
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
