we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
